Out of the Mouths of Babes . . .
Our kids are finally starting to get it. When you are divorced it is hard to impart your beliefs and values on your kids, especially if you don't have them all the time. However, it can be done.
My wife and I are sometimes amazed by what comes out of our kids' mouths. Recently, Mrs. DDFD tells me that my son, the most materialist of the bunch (he is his mother's son), pointed out some houses to his step sister and commented that there were no trees for shade and privacy . . .
Those are comments right out of my wife's and my playbook. We value our privacy and the shade from the trees keeps the house cool in the summer. To me, this is a small step in the right direction. That our way of life has benefits and he is starting to realize it. He has a point of reference beyond Spendthrift Manor (Spendthrift Manor and Frugal Homestead).
In fact, all of the kids are showing signs of picking up our views on:
- Frugality and purchase decisions
- Simple living
- Home cooked meals
I am proud and I feel good when I see and hear our influence showing in the kids and I look forward to seeing much more . . .
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Categories: Divorce, Consumerism, Parenting, Frugality, Personal Philosophy
Tags: Divorce Consumerism Parenting Frugal Kids Frugality Personal Philosophy
It's clear to me that you're doing the best thing you can do for your children - leading by example. They can't be pushed, but often they can be pulled with you leading the way. They'll see and hear for themselves what works and what doesn't, and why.
I often wonder why so many people are screwed up when it comes to finances, and many times it's simply the poor role models that people have had. It's the old saying "consider the source." Some of us are "lucky" and we had good role models, while others are still searching for a clue.
I've seen many people who have been taught to just get the answer. If you take the time to show your kids how to figure out the answer, then they'll be better prepared to figure it out on their own without someone spoon feeding it to them. That will make for more successful and responsible individuals, and that's something we can all appreciate.
Along with showing by example, the concept of "tough love" must be applied too, especially if a child just won't learn except the hard way. It's best to have this happen at home rather than when they're out of the nest and can get themselves into deep trouble.
In any event, you can only take so much credit and so much blame for how your children turn out. Even though raising children is one of the "hills that's worth dying on" in life, there is only so much that you can instill in a person, the rest is naturally who they are, so you have to stop short of beating your head against the wall.
Once you've done your best to show by example, you'll have to enjoy the moments where there is evidence of your success in the things that they say and do. It has to be satisfaction enough, even though we could always hope for more.
Clair
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It's nice to see someone being such a posetive influence on their children.
I agree with you 100% on trees and privacy. It amazes me that more people dont' share this philosophy.
Here's a good example.
When my dad bought a house in a new neighborhood several years ago. The builders were still actively building houses.
There were a few large (and beautiful) trees in the backyard.
Shortly after moving in, one of my neighbors approached my dad to let him know that "If you talk to the builders, you could still have them cut down all your trees for you".
It's baffling. My dad is the only person on the block with any trees in the backyard. As a result, his backyard feels like a private jungle, and everyone else's house and yards look depressingly drab.
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